Day after Day, Night after Night
by sparrowlove
Summary: RemusSirius, mostly just friendship but some sexual innuendo and stuff. By the end, this story will have 3 chapters from three important times in their lives. Remus and Sirius think about each other and their relationships.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:  
**This is the first of three chapters about Remus and Sirius. The first is set soon after Sirius is sent to Azkaban, the second will be soon after he escapes, and the third will be soon after he is killed. In this chapter, Remus and Sirius think about each other and their friendship.  
I love concrit, so tell me what you think, please. I'm always looking to improve.  
insert standard disclaimer here  
I originally posted this on LJ.

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**Sirius**

The cell was cold and damp, and the thin man had to huddle in the corner, his arms wrapped around himself, to keep from shivering. Despite his best efforts, however, Sirius shuddered violently each time the dementor guards glided past. Anyone who saw the way he jerked away from their dark hoods and rotted, rasping breaths would assume that Sirius Black was simply another criminal finally beginning to see the horror of his crimes. This, of course, was untrue, but Sirius's innocence did not prevent the dementors from pulling out the other terrible times in his life- the first time he had argued with his mother about her support of anti-Muggle acts and had seen true hatred etched across her face, the time he had run away from home when he was fourteen and one of his aunts had punished him with nearly a minute of the Cruciatus Curse… Yet all of these memories paled in comparison to Sirius's knowledge that he had caused the deaths of two of his best friends.

"I'm a coward," he whispered to himself, late at night. "If I hadn't been so afraid of death, I would still be the Secret-Keeper. James and Lily would still be alive." The thought alone would be enough to drive a man insane, but, coupled with his desire for vengeance, it was enough to keep Sirius from becoming just that.

Day after day, he sat in the cell. Sometimes he was a man, and sometimes a dog. When he was Padfoot, he considered escaping, but he knew that he would not be free without Peter Pettigrew. When he was Sirius, he considered dying, but life in a box was better than no life at all.

Night after night, he sat in the cell. He looked up to the single small sliver of window and stared at the sky. When the moon grew big and full, Sirius sometimes transformed into the large black dog and howled until he felt his lungs would burst. Sometimes he imagined he could hear the howl returned by the high, wailing call of a wolf, but that was just wishful thinking. Sirius had been allowed to send one owl since his arrival to Azkaban, and Remus had never replied.

"Of course he doesn't believe me," Sirius had thought. "There's no evidence that I'm telling the truth, it's all hidden in a filthy little rat." Still, the fact that Remus thought that Sirius had helped to murder James and Lily was almost worse than being trapped in Azkaban while Peter roamed alive and free.

"You always lusted after power, Wormtail," Sirius said to the silent darkness. He laughed a cold, sad laugh. "I suppose we just weren't powerful enough." Sirius wished he still had power: power to find Peter, power to escape, to be free, power to make Remus write him back… He'd explained as best as he could the situation, and Remus must have seen him as nothing more than a cold-blooded murderer. Sirius would have given any power he had left to make this not so. If Remus- Remus Lupin, his best friend, practically his family- couldn't believe him, no one could.

For the first time since he had gone into the Wizard prison, Sirius leaned his head against the wall and let the tears roll down his face.

**Remus**

Every day, Remus wondered if he would ever receive an owl from his best friend. Obviously Sirius did not have much in Azkaban, but Lupin thought that he must be allowed to send mail at least once. And yet, each day, when owls came bringing mail or the news, there was no word from Sirius Black. He had no idea that it wasn't that Black wasn't sending mail, but that it wasn't reaching Lupin. There was no way that Ministry of Magic officials could really let owls be sent by the most notorious Death Eater they had captured. Better to pretend and keep him cooperating.

Remus looked out the window. To the untrained eye, the moon seemed to be full, but Remus knew better. He wasn't covered with fur, though he was beginning to feel restless. He figured that "his time of the month," as Sirius always called it in an attempt to get a laugh (it usually worked), was about two days away.

He walked outside and breathed in deeply. The night air was crisp, and he considered going back inside for a cloak, but instead began walking towards a nearby forest. It was always a good place to think. In the woods, Remus sat down on a large, flat rock. This particular part of the woods had trees so large that the sky was completely blocked out. It reminded him of the Forbidden Forest. It reminded him of the time that he and Sirius snuck into the Forbidden Forest. When they returned to the Gryffindor Tower a few hours later, James asked what there was to smile about in a dark, creepy forest. This made Sirius laugh and Remus blush, and they both went quickly to their dormitory without answering. Remus smiled in spite of himself.

Then he remembered that, because of Sirius, James would never ask a question with that knowing smirk on his face again, and he wondered why he was so upset about Sirius not writing. He didn't want Sirius to write. He never wanted to hear from his friend again.

Remus made a face. He didn't want to think about what Sirius had done; he wanted to remember him as the clever, laughing boy who always knew exactly what to do to make Remus smile. But that boy was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Chapter 2 takes place soon before the start of The Order of the Phoenix. It's not quite as long as chapter 1, sorry.  
Please review, concrit is really nice and helpful. I'd love to know what you think.

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**Sirius**

When he escaped from Azkaban, Sirius Black's first goal was to find Peter Pettigrew. His next was to find Remus Lupin, and his third was to find his godson. It was a stroke of luck that he managed to accomplish all three goals at the same time. Then to his dismay, he managed to lose all three on that same night.

A little over a year later, soon after Voldemort returned, the Order of the Phoenix reformed and Sirius happily offered his old home at Grimmauld Place to be used as the headquarters. Remus was the first to arrive.

"The other members of the Order will be here in a few hours," he reported to Sirius, who had been waiting anxiously for news. "But I figured I'd come early and help you tidy up. No one's lived here in years, have they?"

Sirius grinned. "Let it stay dirty," he said.

Remus smiled. "It's good to have you back, Padfoot." He turned to walk into the kitchen when Sirius pounced. Remus was on the ground with his arms and legs pinned spread-eagle before he knew what had hit him.

"Fifteen years," Sirius growled, pushing Remus down. "Fifteen years since we've really seen each other, really talked… really been alone," he finished lecherously.

There was a knock on the door. Sirius moaned and got up to answer it. Remus climbed to his feet, a guilty look on his face. After admonishing the guests to be quiet so as not to wake his mother's portrait, Sirius led them back into the room where Lupin waited.

"Kingsley, Minerva, Nymphadora," Remus greeted them.

"Remus!" Tonks exclaimed. "Please!"

"Tonks," Remus amended.

"Wotcher," she said, laughing.

"So, Shacklebolt," Sirius said. "I hear you've been put in charge of finding me."

"You better watch out, Black," Kingsley replied, smirking. "I've got the whole Ministry on your tail. All the way in Romania!" Sirius laughed his barking laugh at this.

'This is life,' he thought. 'Not prison cells and dementors. People, laughter… and Remus, of course.' He looked over at his friend, who was pretending not to be looking at him.

For the rest of the evening, Sirius was like a small child as he ran around, joyous at not being alone. He told jokes and pulled pranks, triumphantly yelling "Mischief managed!" when a prank was successful.

Remus grinned as he watched Sirius. Sirius looked back at him and grinned as well.

Later, after the rest of the Order had gone to bed, Sirius crawled up next to Remus in his bed.

"'Night, Moony," Sirius said.

"'Night, Padfoot."

**Remus**

Remus awoke to find a hand tracing lightly over his face. "Sirius?" he said groggily. "The hell are you doing?"

"Making sure you're here."

"Where else would I be?" Remus asked, smiling gently.

"Dunno, imaginary?"

"Imaginary?"

"Twelve years you were imaginary. I was just making sure."

"Well, I promise you I'm not imaginary. I'm- ow!" Sirius had just pinched him. "What was that for?"

"Making sure," Sirius replied, laughing.

Remus pinched him back.

"Ow!" Sirius yelped and pinched Remus again.

"What are we, six?" asked Remus.

"No, we're friends."

"Just friends?" Remus asked. Sirius smirked and rolled on top of him.

"Ow," Remus said again, weakly. "Get off me, Sirius."

"No." He shifted all of his weight onto Remus and Remus groaned. Sirius pursed his lips. "Now kiss me."

"I can't breathe," Remus said.

"I'm not getting off until you kiss me."

"I doubt you'll get off even then," Remus moaned.

"Likely not," Sirius agreed. "Do it anyway."

"I can't move."

Sirius sighed, and put his forehead to Lupin's. "You're a real pain, Moony, you know that?"

"Look who's talking," Remus replied. Sirius kissed him hard on the lips and rolled off of him.

"Better?"

"Much. I'm going back to sleep, Sirius. I suggest you do the same. And no touching my face this time."

"How about your…"

"Sirius!" Remus exclaimed, pushing his hand away and blushing. "There're other people in the house."

"Ahh," Sirius answered. "The Noble and Ancient House of Black has very thick walls. We're a promiscuous bunch, you know. But if you insist." He rolled over and gave a huge fake snore. Remus rolled his eyes and then closed them, breathing deeply until he began to drift off. His last thought before he went to sleep was 'This is life, isn't it? All downhill from here? Or maybe we'll just level off, Sirius and I. That'd be nice, just like this for the rest of forever…'


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** This is the final chapter. Sirius's part is set before the battle in the Department of Mysteries; Remus's is set after. Slight Remus/Tonks at the end, but mostly still Remus/Sirius. Feedback, reviews, and concrit are appreciated, thank you.

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**Sirius**

Sirius was slightly surprised when Severus Snape burst into his house in the middle of the afternoon. "What brings you here, Snivellus?" he asked, coming down the stairs into the kitchen. "Haven't you got a class to teach?"

"Is it really so important, Black," Severus replied, "for you to insult me that you'll waste time when I've come to tell you about your godson?"

"What?" Sirius asked sharply. "What about Harry?"

"He's gone to the Ministry. Said something about rescuing you. Had another of his… dreams, I suppose."

Sirius grabbed Snape by the throat and pushed him against the wall. "If you'd… you should've kept teaching him Occlumency… you…"

"Sirius," Remus yelled from the top of the steps while adjusting his robes. "What is going on?"

Sirius was breathing heavily with anger and fear. "Harry," he panted. "He… Ministry… Snivellus…"

"Calm down, Padfoot," Remus said gently. He turned to Snape. "What is he talking about, Severus? Where's Harry?"

"Potter has taken it into his head that someone's got Black inside the Ministry of Magic. From what he said, I assume he means in the Hall of Prophecy, but he was practically raving. Not," Snape continued coldly, "that that is anything new." He was cut off by Sirius lunging for his neck again. Remus put a hand on Sirius's shoulder and pulled him back.

"That's not going to help, Pads," Remus said.

"We have to," Sirius said in a strangled voice. "We have to help him."

"Fine," Remus said. "I'll go find Tonks and Alastor and the three of us will."

"No!" Sirius exploded. "He's my godson. I have to take care of him. I promised. I promised Lily and James," he roared, his voice cracking on the last word.

"Alright," Remus said. He sent Severus back to Hogwarts to see if he could catch up to Harry and his friends and then went to alert the other members of the Order.

Sirius paced anxiously, worrying about Harry, wanting to rush off to the Ministry, damn the Order, damn help. Harry was his godson, he had to protect him. When Remus returned, he put a comforting arm around Sirius and Sirius gripped it tightly. Remus kissed him softly on the cheek.

"Let's go," Remus said quietly.

"We're going to save him," Sirius said.

"We're going to save him," Remus agreed.

**Remus**

Remus Lupin was in shock. He felt terrible for it, knowing that he wasn't the only one who cared for Sirius; wanting to be selfless and swallow his pain so that Harry would have someone to talk to, but every time he started to leave his room in Grimmauld Place, he saw the room across the hall. Sirius's room. And so he would retreat backwards and close the door, blocking out reality so he could be alone and remember his best friend.

"Always the hero, aren't you Sirius?" he said to the empty room. "Just like James. Just like Harry, for that matter." Remus walked the length of the room and gazed out the window. The moon was almost full. 'It'll be down to the Whomping Willow in a few days,' Lupin thought, half-smiling. 'Wormtail running ahead to press the knot on the tree. Me running to reach the Shrieking Shack before the clouds clear. Prongs behind, keeping watch. And Padfoot. By my side.'

"Everyone knew about us," Remus said aloud. "But no one really... understood, I suppose." He turned from the window and shut the shade. The breeze blew and made the curtain sway and rustle a bit. Without thinking, Remus reached out and ripped the shade from its hooks. Then, staring at the limp piece of fabric in his hand, he let out a long, shuddering sigh.

Day after day, he pretended that he was alright. Though he grew quiet and stared into space if Sirius's name was mentioned, Remus managed to converse normally on other matters.

He spoke to Nymphadora Tonks often. She hadn't known Sirius as well as the others and so had been less aware of his relationship with Remus ('everyone knew,' Remus thought, 'even when we tried to hide it. Not that we ever tried hard. Sirius was always a show-off, practically an exhibitionist at times') Because she didn't know how he felt about Sirius ('I loved him,' thought Remus. 'I love him.') he was not subjected to the looks of pity he got from the older members of the Order.

As the days went by, he began to realize that Tonks cared for him. He started to push her away, afraid that he would begin to return her affection. He couldn't let himself care for her, he thought; it would be betraying Sirius. The thought was irrational but he clung to it, determined not to give any bit of his heart to anyone other than Sirius.

Quickly, he realized that this was ridiculous. Even if he wouldn't let himself have feelings for Tonks, he couldn't become completely distant. Sirius would want him to take care of Harry.

Night after night, Remus sat alone in his room. Sat alone and remembered when Sirius used to knock on his door in the middle of the night. Remus would let him in, smiling, and Sirius would smile back with that big grin.

Remus did not smile. He looked at the still shadeless window. Days had passed and the moon had become just a sliver of light in the night sky. The stars were not visible, covered by a layer of clouds. Remus looked to the north, and there was no light. He breathed deeply, trying to block out all of his thoughts, but one slipped through. 'Love you,' he thought. And he realized, the night was darker without the Dog Star. 'love you,


End file.
